I'm going to create a product and see how it would flourish or fail in today's economy. This product? Jay Cutler Shoe Tying.

Basically, people pay absurd amounts of money to have Jay Cutler tie their shoes for them. Each shoe tying session costs whatever Jay deems a reasonable amount. In some cases the collector on site will even let the fan decide. When an avid stalker fan of Jay's was asked what she'd pay for a Jay Cutler Shoe Tying she responded "Seven thousand dollars and the name of my unborn child..." Whoa Jay, can you say economy stimulated?  This offer seems like it's only geared toward Bears fans or Jay Cutler fans. However, upon request we can have those two boys, from that show on Nickelodeon that you thought was hilarious when you were ten, come and sing songs to you while you look deeply into their extremely beautiful eyes, AND HAVE JAY CUTLER TIE YOUR SHOES!!

 

Just when you thought it couldn't get any better, we remembered how much you love Civil War Generals, so here you go, take McClellan-- free of charge.

 

 

****

I had way too much fun with this. Essentially this resembles the want people have, regardless of whether or not we're in a recession, for useless things. This completely asinine idea fueled by my wonderfully creative imagination, could probably be a real thing if Jay Cutler wasn't such a butt face. Snuggies, Pajama Jeans, Slushie Magic, Pillow Pets. All ridiculously stupid and successful ideas, because people like stupid things. I have two Snuggies. Why do I have two Snuggies? Because I can, and because I'm attracted to things that I not only do not need, but things that have no point. As long as there are people out there crafting things like the items listed above, then America's economy will always have hope.

 

This is the last photoshopped image I promise...

I'm done!

~Margaret